My Experience with Neighbors and Gates

I have some history with neighbors and gates.

I was hit in the face with a gate – at a neighbor’s. Hence, my first example.

My second:

A couple of years ago we had some heifers out. Theron was on foot, a neighbor on a four wheeler, me in the pickup. My job was to get around the section and beat the heifers to the gate and get it open.

It was dark; the grass was tall. But I got to it first. However, I struggled to get the wire loop off of the gate post. I could hear the four wheeler heading my way.

Time to pray.

“Please, Lord, help me open this gate! I have to get it open before V gets here! I have to! ‘Cause I – AM – A – COW – GIIIRRL!!!”

I didn’t really say that last sentence.

Just before V pulled up, I slipped it off. He commended me, and I acted like it was no biggie.

Joe had sent him ahead because it occurred to him that I may not get it open.

Shame on him.

My final example happened just over a year ago.

M, if you’re reading this, you’ll eventually figure out my story involves you. I apologize for what you are about to learn.

I’ll proceed.

I was on my way home from town when I found a neighbor’s cow eating out by the highway. I pulled over and called; they were on their way. I decided to stay until they arrived, in case they needed another body to keep the cow from the highway.

While I sat there, the cow started walking toward the gate in front of me. I quickly called Joe and explained my situation.

“Should I just run over and open it? It looks like it’ll open easily…”

He thought I should. As I walked toward the gate, she picked up her pace. I started running, thinking she had realized I was going to open it for her.

I landed my left foot in a hole.

I went down hard. My ankle hurt pretty badly. I prayed I would be able to keep moving and that total strangers were driving by. If you saw me that day, please don’t ever tell me.

I got up to open the gate. It wasn’t as easy as it looked. There was a little knot on the post. I kind of struggled to get the wire untied and out from under that wonderfully placed knot. I finally got it, ran to pull the gate out of the way for the cow, and walked back toward my car so I wouldn’t spook her. I was feeling pretty good about myself.

I watched eagerly – as she walked past the gate. Boy, was I deflated.

Fortunately, we were not far from an intersecting rock road. She headed for the corner and turned away from the highway.

I decided I should go shut the gate so M wouldn’t have more cows out. However, I had a problem. I couldn’t find the wire.

In my haste to get the gate open, I failed to keep track of it. I assumed it was out in the grass I’d laid the gate in.

I searched, and people continued to drive by.

As pickups came by, I acted like I was closing the gate. When they were gone, I laid it back down and looked some more. I repeated this absurdity for a few minutes.

I eventually found the wire right next to the stationary post where I had untied it.

New problem: I could not get it wired shut. WHERE DID THAT KNOT GO??? It looked like it was on the OTHER side of the post now! I twisted the wire around the stationary post, because they didn’t need me losing it again.

M and his son showed up, thanked me and told me they’d get her in.

You’re going to love this: Knowing they probably wanted the gate left open to get the cow back in, I actually offered to shut the gate I could NOT get shut. True to form, they said to leave it, that they’d get her in first.

I may not have been able to get the gate wired back shut nicely, but I do have some other very convenient ego survival skills.

They left to get the cow, and I went back to move the gate out of the way so she wouldn’t get hung up in it.

As I picked it up and swung it around, I made a discovery: The gate had twisted. The post had been upside down. That knot I couldn’t find was right where it should have been, except on the ground.

Two lessons: Always tie the wire to the post it came from immediately, and double-check that the gate isn’t twisted no matter how straight it looks!

 

Getting Caught Up

I’ve decided to post some of my columns for a while. Hope you’ll enjoy them!

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My friend Michelle and I have been sharing our “cowgirl” successes and woes with each other the past few years. We’re both stay-at-home moms who help our husbands, and between that and community activities, rarely stay home. Our kids are all mobile and can both speak and understand English now, so we have had more opportunity to get out in the cow herds the past few calving seasons.

We update each other on our experiences via Facebook. For instance, one day I tagged five calves. I shocked myself, my husband and anyone else who would listen, so I had to tell Michelle. When we post successes for each other, we always wrap up our comments on a positive note regardless of how things turned out, with a spoof on Bill Engvall’s “I’m a Cowboy” routine:

“Cause – I – AM – A – COW – GIIIRRL!!!”

I had quite a story for her last year. Hubby and I went over to a neighbor’s to help him work his cows and calves. My job was to round up four cows, sort them into a first pen, move them to the next and Hubby took them from there. I did my job very well. E’s cows are nice and very easy to work with. I kept up my end of the deal until the end. I got the last three into the first pen, opened the second, they walked in, I started closing the gate and… BAM! The gate hit me.

It’s amazing the stuff that goes through your head. You don’t usually feel pain right away, so it was hard to determine where exactly I was hit. I had heard what sounded like my sunglasses breaking, so the first thing I did was look for them. They were on top of my head, unharmed. I started frantically grabbing all over my face, trying to determine where the snap occurred and if my parts were where they should be.

In the process, I discovered a fair amount of blood.

I got the gate shut and ducked down to hide from E. I didn’t know what I looked like, and I didn’t want him to feel badly.

After coming to the conclusion that my nose had not been pushed up into my brain and that I’d probably survive, I tried to get Hubby’s attention. When he turned and saw me, his mouth dropped open and he turned white.

Maybe my nose really had made it up to my brain…

I told him I was okay, just finish the cows. I made my way over panels to get closer to the veterinarian, confident he could assess the damage for me.  By the time I made it to him, my nose was starting to hurt, and my head was pounding. I was okay. He said my nose was still straight (and not in my brain), but I’d probably have a couple of black eyes in the morning. The blood was coming from a cut just above the bridge of my nose where the gate had hit me square on. It was also coming from inside, thus making my face a bit of a mess.

I got cleaned up and put my sunglasses on to hide the top of my nose. We told E so he wouldn’t hear it through the grapevine, but I hid from his wife, hoping she wouldn’t see me as I headed for the pickup.

After my mother-in-law doctored me up, I Facebook’d Michelle. I had a story to tell! Then I stayed on the couch with ice on my face for two days. The whole left side of my body was hit pretty hard too, so I couldn’t get up anyway.

I’m very thankful a bunged-up nose was my worst injury. I still have a bump where I was hit. And sometimes it hurts when I push my glasses up. I’m also thankful for my battle scars. They serve as constant reminders to not let myself relax too much while working around cattle.

They are also a reminder of one other thing: That I – AM – A – COW – GIIIRRL!