I have some history with neighbors and gates.
I was hit in the face with a gate – at a neighbor’s. Hence, my first example.
My second:
A couple of years ago we had some heifers out. Theron was on foot, a neighbor on a four wheeler, me in the pickup. My job was to get around the section and beat the heifers to the gate and get it open.
It was dark; the grass was tall. But I got to it first. However, I struggled to get the wire loop off of the gate post. I could hear the four wheeler heading my way.
Time to pray.
“Please, Lord, help me open this gate! I have to get it open before V gets here! I have to! ‘Cause I – AM – A – COW – GIIIRRL!!!”
I didn’t really say that last sentence.
Just before V pulled up, I slipped it off. He commended me, and I acted like it was no biggie.
Joe had sent him ahead because it occurred to him that I may not get it open.
Shame on him.
My final example happened just over a year ago.
M, if you’re reading this, you’ll eventually figure out my story involves you. I apologize for what you are about to learn.
I’ll proceed.
I was on my way home from town when I found a neighbor’s cow eating out by the highway. I pulled over and called; they were on their way. I decided to stay until they arrived, in case they needed another body to keep the cow from the highway.
While I sat there, the cow started walking toward the gate in front of me. I quickly called Joe and explained my situation.
“Should I just run over and open it? It looks like it’ll open easily…”
He thought I should. As I walked toward the gate, she picked up her pace. I started running, thinking she had realized I was going to open it for her.
I landed my left foot in a hole.
I went down hard. My ankle hurt pretty badly. I prayed I would be able to keep moving and that total strangers were driving by. If you saw me that day, please don’t ever tell me.
I got up to open the gate. It wasn’t as easy as it looked. There was a little knot on the post. I kind of struggled to get the wire untied and out from under that wonderfully placed knot. I finally got it, ran to pull the gate out of the way for the cow, and walked back toward my car so I wouldn’t spook her. I was feeling pretty good about myself.
I watched eagerly – as she walked past the gate. Boy, was I deflated.
Fortunately, we were not far from an intersecting rock road. She headed for the corner and turned away from the highway.
I decided I should go shut the gate so M wouldn’t have more cows out. However, I had a problem. I couldn’t find the wire.
In my haste to get the gate open, I failed to keep track of it. I assumed it was out in the grass I’d laid the gate in.
I searched, and people continued to drive by.
As pickups came by, I acted like I was closing the gate. When they were gone, I laid it back down and looked some more. I repeated this absurdity for a few minutes.
I eventually found the wire right next to the stationary post where I had untied it.
New problem: I could not get it wired shut. WHERE DID THAT KNOT GO??? It looked like it was on the OTHER side of the post now! I twisted the wire around the stationary post, because they didn’t need me losing it again.
M and his son showed up, thanked me and told me they’d get her in.
You’re going to love this: Knowing they probably wanted the gate left open to get the cow back in, I actually offered to shut the gate I could NOT get shut. True to form, they said to leave it, that they’d get her in first.
I may not have been able to get the gate wired back shut nicely, but I do have some other very convenient ego survival skills.
They left to get the cow, and I went back to move the gate out of the way so she wouldn’t get hung up in it.
As I picked it up and swung it around, I made a discovery: The gate had twisted. The post had been upside down. That knot I couldn’t find was right where it should have been, except on the ground.
Two lessons: Always tie the wire to the post it came from immediately, and double-check that the gate isn’t twisted no matter how straight it looks!
Barbed Wire and Bangles 